You know you’ve been a consultant for too long when…

Written by Rich Rosser

After some years working in professional services, there might be telling signs that you have been a consultant for too long. Here are 15 signs that it’s maybe time for you to consider a job change! Scroll down for even more signs, added by our readers.

 

YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN A CONSULTANT FOR TOO LONG WHEN…

… someone asks you what you actually do in your job, and you fall deafly silent.

… someone asks for a meeting at 10.00 and you say am or pm?

… you refer to your child’s arts and crafts project as a deliverable.

… you use any of the following words in a social context: consensus, buy-in, robust and ‘let’s step back’, deep-dive, stress-test, stakeholder.

… you refer to getting sign-off for a night out.

… you problem solve for a plan for ‘date night’.

… you say to your partner ‘I’m coming home early tonight’ and the clock’s already hit 8pm.

… you use colour coded Excel for your shopping list.

… you discuss new Excel functions with your (geeky) friends.

… you explain to the hotel staff what their room policy is.

… you’ve seen more films on a plane than in a cinema.

… you show new employees of the client how to get the best coffee from the machine.

… you perform a SWOT analysis on any major life decisions.

… someone refers to ‘being on the beach’ or ‘on the bench’ and you ask them about their annual billable hours.

… you use PowerPoint to design absolutely everything.

 

EXTENSION: 29 MORE WAYS OUR READERS KNOW THEY’VE BEEN CONSULTANTS FOR TOO LONG 

  • You receiving a birthday card signed by all front desk staff from the Marriott Renaissance in Rutherford, NJ.
  • Heading out for dinner one weekend with your partner, you recommend “going back to that awesome restaurant…” and they say – that wasn’t me and there isn’t one of those in this city.
  • You know the names of all three flight attendants on the Monday AM flight to NYC but not of your neighbour across the street.
  • Lifetime status at a hotel or airline becomes a positive achievement.
  • The rental car or hotel staff says “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you, everything OK?”
  • Arriving back to your home airport customs ask ”where are you coming from sir….” and it’s a complete blank!
  • You introduce yourself by starting with, “Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Evening”!
  • You get to the airport, stop by your favourite diner, and the waitress already has your standard order ready.
  • You start referring to the Marriott as home.
  • You can unpack/repack in 15 minutes.
  • You really geek out on posts like this. 
  • You wear a Marlins hat to a Bruins hockey game.
  • You speak the wrong language to the postman.
  • You have so many passwords, you can’t get into any device.
  • You have to think twice before writing country of residence on the Customs re-entry form.
  • You pull out the wrong currency at a local MacDonalds.
  • Your neighbour asks “what did you think of Sunday’s game?” and you have no idea which sport, when or where it occurred.
  • You have more friends abroad than in the United States.
  • Your company thinks you are more loyal to it than to your community of practice.
  • You are in an argument with your significant other and say “May I ask a clarifying question?”
  • You get a leaving present from the receptionists at the hotel.
  • You dread the thought of going to a restaurant (5 times already this week) on a weekend.
  • You’re invited to the hotel staff’s Christmas night out because you’ve stayed in that hotel some many times!
  • You get a 12:00 meeting request and are relieved that it’s midnight and doesn’t mess up your lunch plans.
  • You know flight attendants in person.
  • You teach newly on-boarded car rental staff how to process additional equipment and services.
  • Locals ask you for dining advice.
  • You calculate the opportunity costs of the time you spend for pleasure.
  • You’ve woken up in the middle of the night and, for a few moments, not known whether you are home or not.

Something still missing? Don’t hesitate to get in touch.

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